I got up early, and worked. I was very good and didn’t order out at all. I need to cut back on doing it again. It’s so hard though, because I like getting up and treating myself with breakfast. But also, I know it isn’t good for me. I also know that I’m largely doing it to get a caffeine fix, because I don’t drink coffee but I am super addicted to soda.
I shouldn’t really have either because it gives me heart palpitations which do not help with the whole anxiety thing. But I can’t help it. I wrote a chapter of Royals and Rebels book 5 and posted it last night at 12:00 a.m., early morning. So I don’t have to worry about that.
I should be working on a chapter for The Gatekeeper, but I got off work and was so tired all I did was watch Gilmore Girls and then sleep. I don’t know that I’ll post today but I usually take two days off anyway because there is a lot more plotting that has to go into fantasy books.
I was supposed to go to therapy, but the session was moved to next week which is okay. I’ve got doctors appointment on Friday for my heart and I didn’t have a whole lot to talk about this week. So, that way, I’ll actually have something to discuss with her.
My weight has always been a concern because of my heart. Working from home now, I don’t go out a whole lot and this year hasn’t been good for a lot of reasons but weight has definitely been one of them. I’ve always struggled with it. I’ve dieted and exercised for as long as I can remember and nothing I do ever seems to stick.
But I’ve been exercising every other day, for fifteen minutes at least, for the past three weeks. We’ll see if I can keep it up. What I really need is to work on food intake and not ordering out. That’s the hardest part for me. But I’m older now, a little wiser I hope, and I want to make the change this time around.
When I was younger I was always doing it for someone else. Because I was “supposed” to be thin. Because I wanted people to quite bullying me. Whatever. This time, it’s just me that I want to lose the weight for and it isn’t because of some ridiculous beauty standard. It’s because I want to be healthy.
Love n’ stars,